my desired happiness

today is saturday.. on monday im heading off to spain the land of gaudi, goya, dali, picasso, jose carreras, serie a, etc. right now im stuck btwn inertia and anticipation... time to get more psyched up man!!! friends family and myself are looking forward to crazy holiday tales so i better live it up when im there ;) just finished doing the bookings for the hostels (damn last minute, tell me abt it) so now just idly daydreaming of seeing beautiful things and beautiful ppl on my trip.

actually wanted to go to more than 1 country this hols, since most ppl i know are going 2,3 or more haha. but well i'll be jumping around 5 regions during my 10 days so that's already rather hardcore travelling! maybe i can squeeze in somewhere during the first few days of jan. prague? paris? glasgow?

i so badly want to do something damn exciting on the spur of the moment. if anyone has a crazy plan and needs a crazy khaki to jump in with them, im their girl!!

ok wish me luck, ill come back with lots of photos and horrific adventure stories for ya. love.

take a sad song and make it better

the holidays are here.. ive spent the past few days of liberation cooking, watching naruto, dotaing, reading, lazing around and sleeping - alot. how fantastic to finally catch a breather and do things i want to do, without the pressures of being at a particular place at a particular time to meet whoever. after this im going to bake muffins and go to hyde park to read my new book- the curious incident of the dog in the night time (ridiculously sad and cute at the same time). how fantastic right!!! i love this feeling. for first time since ive been here, i suddenly feel inexplicably happy and at ease. im not talking abt the momentary high... plenty of that to be gotten from drinks- but a sustained kind of happiness. maybe this is what my friend meant when he said tt i sound more lighthearted these days. a few thousand miles away, and a msn conversation with someone i havent spoken to in months, but the truth of his words caught my breath for a second or two.

ladida

reading gerald's blog and talking to 'mickeymouse' florrine today, i felt i just had to comment on the whole going-home thing. i thought i wouldn't want to fly back to singapore barely 3 months after i left it. also thought that travelling europe would be preferable and a hell lot more exciting. but if u asked me today if i wanted to go home, i'd say YES and give you 500 quid for the return tickets. guess i can't speak for the rest who are staying in london over winter, but for myself, i'd say im being ridiculously cheng3 qiang2. of the dreams ive had, a good 70% are of my family and home. familiarity and comfort are very strong pull factors- never underestimate them. but well, spain beckons :) and school's ending tmr, so i wont complain.

on another note, i surprised myself by how quickly my temper flares! i grabbed a 6 yr old boy by his collar and for a split second, wanted to lift him up with my bare hands cos he shocked me with his rudeness. but what was more shocking was my reaction! i am appalled. jo you suck. thank god ill be teaching 17 year old brutes whom i cant possibly lift up.

____________________________________________
my story, your song>>
is your smile genuine are you that really kind
do you like money and what it can bring
where would you wanna hide
what would you seek
what you want
what you thought
no one can see

10th week blues- 2 days left

some days are functioning days and some days are dysfunctional days. on the former, i wake up with my handphone, make it down for breakfast, stroll to school, work out, and have good lessons- i go home tired but accomplished. great.

other days i wake up late (with or without that hangover), miss breakfast, rush to school, sleep in lectures and go back feeling like a piece of shit!! too many of those 'other days' and fuckcare months. lent shall be better than michaelmas.

planning for the spain trip is going well, but i gotta sit out of the action until i clear my 10th week homework!! CANT WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO END!!

好朋友

i think it's really true that as you grow older, you make fewer good friends. new faces, more often than not, are new acquaintances whom u may forget in a month or so... that's why im thankful for the ppl i've met here whom i can really click with. may not have been friends for too long, but i instinctively know i can come to you with my life's secrets haha and place my trust in you. thanks goes out to philip, gerald, john and nicola.

then there are those whom you wld have been really gd friends with had fate permitted. but as it is, your paths do not cross as often as you wish it could. these ppl nevertheless mean smth to me, and i'm always game to meet up with them, esp when im back in singapore. yihua, shuzhen, minglei im talking bout u guys.

my jc classmates, always the best class i ever had. wld so love a major class dinner right now. sheryl, serene, zhuang, shups, chim, pet, chengwei, jolie, jean.

last but not least, the old regulars who r always 100% by my side. u guys can do no wrong, and even if u did, i'd love you no less for it. em, yun, ivan, amos and fuzz.

the most hectic weekend ever

talked to my mum on the phone at 1.30am last night, and hung up feeling so contented and full, like after a good meal in chinatown. haha.

interruption: helllooooo :) sheryl and serene are here in jo's room! just noticed a saying on jo's cutlery holder that says "hard work pays off later, beer pays off now!" :) i like.

yeah anyway, sheryl and serene are spending the weekend w me before they fly back to s'pore. mmm so far we've been to chinatown, drank a lot, been to chinatown again, speaker's corner at hyde park and oxford street. and now im at zy's place after he cooked 6 of us a good dinner. heheheh :) i have "domesticated him" as my friends claim. tmr we shld be watching les mis if we can get tickets.. and maybe some err drinking err and going to the rocket. yay. what a lovely weekend.

i wish i was gg home like they r! but it's too late to do anything abt it now. so yeah.... i told my mum that and she was like, too bad... speaking of my mum, im honestly feeling bad abt how ive mistreated her for my past 19 years and 10 months of life. heh heh heh. i shldnt be such a bitch to her of all ppl... and too frequently, i act like one. yeap.

enuf whining... the last thought of the day is: do ppl really change overnight? should i give them the benefit of the doubt? am i fit to comment? ok that's really three thoughts in one. but theyre all related.

my achey breaky heart

ok la, after complaints from the phil-di, i've decided to give some time to typing a more meaningful/ heartfelt/ interesting entry than the one before that. erm where do i start?!. im not in a very gd frame of mind now cos ive had a headache and dizzy spells the past 2 days or so. bleagh! being sick in a cold country s-u-c-ks.

Lessons Learnt This Week:
1. do not chiong anything when youre sick, ie gymming in the day + clubbing at night = bad news
2. go for maths extra examples sessions, dont be a slack shit. cos you need help with math dammit
3. dont do tutorials last minute
4. wear more clothes, who cares if you look like a walking marshmellow
5. eat vitamins and drink water

i must say that those are very impt lessons in life! :) i'm so much wiser for it. okay enough of my fucking lists. i'm quite happy that my allowance for the next 6 months has been credited into my account. i just hope i don't eat into that amt!!! cos i wanna be damn rich when im back in singapore- ive got too many food places to visit and too little time! k la, besides that i wanna cycle by the beach and tan in the glorious sun too... hmmmm... so nice..

okay here are some photos for fun.

1. drinking in oxford.
2. drinking in london.
3. not drinking anymore!- in a gorgeous garden hidden in V&A museum

my new home

moving to blogspot cos ive stuck with pitas for long enough!~ and its easier to type posts here la. anyways more to come later. i gotta do some work now ：p